Brian Regan

Brian Regan Jokes

I need to see a face because that name sounds so familiar.

My brothers would never let me play with them so to get back at them I would put vaseline on the Twister mat. Left arm, BROKEN!

I don't know what's up with cranberries, but they're getting in all the other juices. Hey you got apple let's make it cran-apple go 50-50. You got grape cran-grape, you got pork chops cran-chops. Settle down there cranberry man, take you salesman trophy and take a vacation.



Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. I don't understand that. I mean, I'm lazy but I'd like to meet the guy that needs that. This guy must be thinking, "I could go for a sandwich, but I'm not gonna open TWO jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars and cleaning WHO KNOWS how many knives."

I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's a blasting zone, what am I supposed to do, 'Hey-- ah, you might wanna buckle up, blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're-- (Pow!)-- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)-- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one--we lost Billy?